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[ephydriade]

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[ephydriade]

Because I was never given a choice of whether I wanted to do this or not! [ Haru's own voice raises, his frustration growing in anger ]

You force me to become your shinki, and now you want to chain me down because something bad is happening?! How do I know you won't force me to do anything else?!

Action

[thekillerwhale]

[Makoto's eyebrows raise and his face falls and his voice becomes barely anything.]

...Forced...?

Is...that what you think? That...I want to force you to do things...?

[He swallows and his voice becomes louder.]

I would never force you to do anything! I just want to make sure that you're safe because I do care about you! I don't want you hurt! I....I just want to believe in you and be your friend!

[Again...

Makoto's voice chokes as if he's on the verge of crying, but no tears well up in his eyes. He's just utterly heartbroken.]

Action (rest in fucking pieces)

[ephydriade]

Why else did you make me your shinki then?! You didn't even ask if I wanted this... and you never even gave me a full explanation of what a shinki was. Even now... I still don't really know what a shinki is or what they're supposed to do...

[ Haru's fists clench again as he continues ]

I told you that I could care for myself... and yet you're making me... [ he trails off, but goes back to asking questions, obviously annoyed that he hasn't gotten any answers yet. ] What would you even do if something did happen? Are you even really a god? I haven't seen you do anything that's god-like since you made me your shinki... and yet... you say you can help protect me...

[ Makoto's comment about being his friend is still ringing in his head though... and he clenches his fists even tighter before letting the next sentence out ]

... I don't want to be friends with someone who forces me to do things I don't want.

Action [YOOOOOOOOU'RE HEEEEEEEEERE! THERE'S NOTHING I FEEEAR!]

[thekillerwhale]

[Everything Haru is saying is tearing him apart inside. This is the rejection he was fearing since the beginning. This is the heartbreak that he was scared to death of and it's becoming a reality.

His breath catches in his throat and his chest feels tight. He suddenly feels sick to his stomach and his legs lose strength.

But he stands there, trying to formulate a response through the pain he's feeling. It's nearly doubled because not only can he feel his own pain, but he can feel Haru's as well. Not only as a god, but as someone who's known him since childhood.

The look on his face, his posture, everything screams that Haru doesn't want any of this, least of all Makoto.]

...Fine.

[What else can he say? Arguing with him further will only make things worse. Trying to push him into doing anything will continue the friction between them.

He nods to reaffirm his response.]

Fine. Then there's no question then. I'll just do what I think is right because...I'm your god.

[The words coming out of his mouth feel disgusting to him. This isn't how it's supposed to be.]

What I've said before still stands.

And...I'll know where you are regardless. That's all I need to say.

[Makoto then turns around and walks away back to his chambers.

As soon as he gets to his room and closes his door, his legs give way to the heart break that he's been dealt and sinks to the floor against the door. He puts his face into his hands and breathes in deeply trying not to cry. He's far too much in pain to shed tears because that would be a release from it.]